Written in Morocco January 2024 on a six-week trip
Before I left for Morocco for what feels like the big time. The long time. The what am I doing with my life time. I talked to Jacque, as I like to call her now: my intuitive. She didn’t have much to say this time. The first time it was nonstop details and stories and familiar ties and have you been around camels lately? Past lives and ended contracts. This time she didn’t have much to say. I asked if she could see my family in Morocco and she said yes but didn’t elaborate and I didn’t have the wherewithal to ask any further questions. She just wants to talk to me in February when I get back. Said this a few times, which is hitting me differently here. I wonder what she saw that she has nothing to tell me until after. after what. What am I going to do/learn/become?
Anyway, she tells me before I go…to find a rock or a feather or something from my garden. My intuition will tell me what to take. And to pray on it, to carry it around, to infuse it with me basically. Then when I get to the desert… she didn’t say desert, but I think that’s what she meant by “there” as the desert is now my there …to have a ceremony where I ask my spirit guides what’s next. Can I have my soul’s next download? I’m ready. I’m ready for the next chapter, the next page. And to take something from Morocco. To leave my rock or whatever as a blessing to Morocco, but to take something home so the balance is not off. I finally decided to take my favorite clay seed pod I made in a class. I carry it everywhere, to work, to bed. It’s been my companion.
Now in Morocco, I’ve been looking around wondering what I’m going to take from here because there are lots of options, but nothing feels right. Lying in bed one morning, I decided I don’t need to have a ceremony in order to ask, I can ask from my bed, I can ask from wherever I am because I think they must always be with me. My spirit guides. I lay there and feel my questions, feel my connection, feel my longing. That morning after deciding I don’t have to have a ceremony, I’m dancing in my garden, in the dunes, in the sand, in the middle of the desert. My foot gets cut. Wondering what was so sharp in this ocean of sand, I reach down to discover and unbury a rock. I wouldn’t have seen it if it hadn’t cut me because it was completely submerged. I pick it up and am taken aback because it is the twin of the pod I brought. The same shape, the same textures, same weird five sides, same black dots. The twin. So, I KNOW this is what I’m supposed to take with me home again. I only found it by dancing in my garden, because I was so happy to be in the desert. In the spot my heart somehow knows.
Someone said to clean out your photos on your phone it’s less daunting to go to the day it is and just delete the ones you don’t want from that one day. Since I have time, I’m going through deleting things from the month of January. Do you know what day I made the clay pod? From the scraps of all my projects and I only made it because I was done before everyone else? The exact day one year from the day I found the twin pod in the desert where I was dancing in front of my house that I never want to leave. The fucking same day a year later. So, it’s just magic…that the universe lay that breadcrumb…one year later I would find the exact pod as a rock. In the Sahara. Where I had never been, but in between the bookends of the pod and the rock, discovered my soul knows the land there. Now I’m wondering what breadcrumbs is the universe laying today? What is coming? I don’t know, but I think it’s magic. It’s all magic if we tune in and slow down. If we pay attention.